Gordon E. Ellis
May 30, 2004
THE GIFT OF MEMORY
One of our church members, Rob McComas, lived in the room NEXT to mine at Springfield College. And we have LOTS of great memories of our 3 years together in Alumni Hall. Of course, you’ll never know MOST of them because we have a PACT not to tell at least SOME of our stories. But I CAN tell you that WE did do all the SILLY things that college kids do, like lean trash cans full of water against people’s doors, knock on the doors and then run. We put shaving cream in record album covers, slid the open ends under people’s doors, and jumped on record cover so that shaving cream would go all over their rooms. We did some SILLY things! We ALSO have great memories of the BOMBERS, our INTRAMURAL team. We were GREAT, especially in FOOTBALL. THEN, there was that TELEPHONE that never got a BILL, so we ALL began using it. Diane was in West Virginia at the time, so I made DAILY calls there. And THIS went on ALL year -- until April 12th. THAT’S the day the PHONE bill came. And it’s a good thing that, by LAW, they could ONLY bill us back 2 months, because JUST for those 2 months, our BILL was 22 PAGES of toll calls, or $967.32, which in 1970, was a LOT of money! Now, MY part of that phone bill was only $350. BUT, I had to SELL my guitar, my reel-to-reel tape recorder, my camera, and 3 TERM papers. And DIANE did people’s LAUNDRY & wrote several term papers. And of course, we wouldn’t DARE to ask our PARENTS for help. And since the BILL didn’t COME until halfway through the NEXT month, I had ANOTHER $150 to pay in MAY -- BEFORE the college would give me my GRADES. Of course, it COULD have been worse. One guy had spent an ENTIRE evening making PRANK phone calls to EVERY hotel and motel in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. And the PHONE company didn’t miss a single one! Yes, it’s FUN reminiscing! And, Rob and I DO it every so often.
Well, the fact that tomorrow is MEMORIAL Day -- and TODAY is PENTECOST -- has me THINKING about MEMORIES. They play SUCH a significant role in our LIVES, don’t they? In fact, they SHAPE who we ARE and WHO we become. For example, I try very hard NOT to LABEL people, or JUDGE them by their OUTWARD appearance, because I REMEMBER being labeled and PICKED on. I also try to DO my WORK very conscientiously, because I remember COUNTING on people who DIDN’T come through for me. I try to be ATTENTIVE to my CHILDREN, because I REMEMBER my JOY when my parents were attentive, and my ANGER, FRUSTRATION and HURT when they were NOT. I try to use the gift of TOUCH with people, because remember how POWERFUL the touch of certain CARING people has BEEN in MY life. I try to look at EACH person I encounter, and ASK myself: what GIFT is THIS person BRINGING into my life? And I DO that because I remember how I’VE felt when people have received ME warmly and positively. I try NEVER to take those I LOVE for GRANTED, because I remember how special and precious they are, and how I could LOSE them tomorrow. I try, when I’m HURTING, grieving or confused, to keep my faith STRONG, because I REMEMBER how it has strengthened and comforted me in the PAST, AND I remember RESURRECTIONS that have come from CRUCIFIXIONS that I thought could NEVER be redeemed. Yes, memories are VERY creative, and they SHAPE us.
Memories can ALSO be very DESTRUCTIVE, however! MANY of the things that I DON’T like about myself, and many of my INSECURITIES, are the result of BAD memories. Think about it: therapists make their LIVING off people’s BAD memories -- helping people SORT out, WORK through, and DEAL with the MEMORIES that KEEP them from living their lives FULLY and CREATIVELY in the PRESENT. You see: the actual EVENTS are FAR less important than the way we REMEMBER them. It’s our memory that shapes HOW we will LIVE in the present.
You know: it may surprise you, but as a PASTOR, MOST of the suffering that I encounter is the result of bad MEMORIES. Fear, LONELINESS, ALIENATION, ANXIETY, SUSPICION – these are almost ALWAYS the result of BAD memories. And these memories tend to KEEP wounding us, because so OFTEN, we have BURIED them. We wear our GOOD memories on our SLEEVES, telling them OVER and over. They’re like our TROPHIES! But we try to FORGET, and certainly HIDE, our PAINFUL memories. How OFTEN do we SAY: OH, let’s just FORGET about it, or let’s just ACT like nothing ever happened, or let’s just not TALK about it?
However, there’s a PROBLEM with trying to FORGET our painful experiences, and with pushing them deeper and deeper within. And THAT is that, by NOT remembering them, we allow them to become INDEPENDENT forces, IN and of themselves. And pretty soon, they can have a CRIPPLING effect upon our lives. One of the things I OFTEN say to people, and it’s SO true, is: If you don’t DEAL with your FEELINGS, your feelings will deal with YOU! You see: THAT which is stuffed away, that which is FORGOTTEN, is UNAVAILABLE, and THAT which is unavailable CANNOT be healed. By REFUSING to FACE and DEAL with our painful memories, we MISS opportunities for HEALING. When Jesus said, it’s not the HEALTHY who need the doctor, but the SICK, HE was affirming the fact that those who KNOW their NEED of Him, those who ADMIT their woundedness, are the ones who make themselves AVAILABLE for healing. And therefore, THEY are the ones who will FIND it. Now, PLEASE don’t think I’m talking about taking AWAY our pain. THAT’S impossible. Instead: HEALING means transforming an OPEN wound into a SCAR. We are still scarred, and always WILL be, but we’re NO longer BLEEDING. As William Sloane Coffin once said: The WORLD breaks us ALL, but SOME of us grow STRONGER at the broken PLACES.
Now, PART of the process of healing comes when we realize that OUR pain is part of a GREATER pain, and that OUR suffering is part of a GREATER suffering, and that OUR sorrow is part of a GREATER sorrow. And that GREATER pain and suffering and sorrow is the pain, suffering and sorrow of ALL humanity, and indeed, even of GOD, AS it has been REVEALED to us in CHRIST on the cross. You see: THROUGH the cross of Christ, WE can connect our OWN pain with the pain and suffering of ALL humanity, because Jesus took it ALL upon HIMSELF in order to TRANSFORM it. And WHEN we make this connection between OUR suffering and the suffering of CHRIST -- and THROUGH Him, with the suffering of ALL humanity -- THEN we begin to REALIZE that OUR suffering has MEANING and PURPOSE. Now, DON’T get me WRONG! It’s NOT that God GIVES us our suffering. It’s that in the MIDST of our suffering, GOD goes to WORK, and God REDEEMS it. God USES it. God WEAVES it into a GREAT work of art, a great TAPESTRY of salvation -- or what we sometimes call the KINGDOM of God. Yes, it’s HEALING to know that OUR suffering, whatever it IS, is NOT in VAIN, that God will USE it -- and FROM it, bring NEW LIFE. For example: as painful as it WAS for me to be labeled, judged and picked on as a CHILD, I firmly BELIEVE that I am a FAR better PERSON and PASTOR, because of it. And NOW, looking back on it, I can honestly SAY that those BAD memories were a GIFT to me, because they helped to SHAPE me into the person I am today, INTO a person who is ABLE to help OTHERS because he is a WOUNDED healer. SO, in THAT sense, even our BAD memories can be GIFTS!
They’re ALSO gifts because, AS we REMEMBER them, they CAN keep us from REPEATING an evil. For example, as difficult as it IS to remember the HORRORS of the HOLOCAUST, or the atomic bombing of HIROSHIMA, we NEED to remember such events, SO that they WON’T happen AGAIN.
And finally, our BAD memories can be GIFTS because they have the power to NURTURE us in the midst of our day-to-day STRUGGLES. The JEWS, for example, work HARD to remember the PASSOVER, and their miraculous EXODUS out of their SLAVERY in
Well, friends, our Scripture Lesson today is about MEMORY. It’s about JESUS promising to send His disciples the GIFT of the Holy Spirit in ORDER to help them REMEMBER. He WANTS them to REMEMBER His words, His teachings, His love and His ministry. WHY? Well, FIRST of all, it’s because they will face MANY trials and struggles. And WHEN they DO, it will HELP them to remember His LOVE and His TEACHINGS. THAT’S what will SUSTAIN them and EMPOWER them as they struggle. It will be a LIVING force that they can tap INTO for healing, meaning and fullness of life. SECONDLY, remembering Christ will GUIDE their LIVING and WORKING, day after day. Memories, you see, can be like BLUEPRINTS. They can give us a VISION toward which to MOVE, and FOR which to WORK. The people of
Likewise: CHRISTIANS are called to be the LIVING MEMORY of Jesus Christ. WE are called to DO and SAY what HE would do and say if HE were here in the FLESH. After all: WE are His ONLY hands, His ONLY feet, and His ONLY voice in OUR time and place. And SO, in HIS memory, we are called to speak and preach, to be in community together and to reach out in LOVE to ALL people, JUST as His FIRST disciples did. And LIKE those FIRST disciples, we TOO need the gift of MEMORY, because THAT gives us our VISION. And SO, AS He SAID to them, He NOW says to US: I am SENDING you the SPIRIT. And the SPIRIT will REMIND you of ALL that I have TOLD you. And of course, THAT’S what we celebrate on PENTECOST Sunday, which happens THIS year to fall on Memorial Day weekend. We are CELEBRATING the gift of SPIRIT, because that Spirit REMINDS us. It ENVISIONS us! And it provides ALL that we NEED for FAITHFUL, FRUITFUL and JOYFUL living. In a nutshell, it offers us the gift of MEMORY. SO, let’s CELEBRATE that gift today! Let’s CHERISH it! And let’s USE it to find MEANING, JOY and FULLNESS of life. THANKS be to God. AMEN.