Women’s Sunday

January 16, 2005
Mary Yevich

Faith has been important in my life – however, it hasn’t always been my faith!

My husband, Joe and I grew up in the Pgh. area and when he finished graduate school we moved to Indiana for him to start a job.  We were also ready to start a family but medical problems prevented me from becoming pregnant.  There was no invitro or fertility drugs back then and since we chose not to be childless, after more than 7 years of marriage, we received a 2 week old baby boy for adoption whom we named Paul. 

When he was 4 months old, something compelled me to take this son home to Pa. To have my grandmother, who had raised 12 children, put her seal of approval on him –

And while we were still in Pa. the phone rang at my parent’s home.  It was from one of my sisters.  There were 3 girls in our family 1) was serious, 2) happy, cheerful, the good one and me, Mary, the contrary one.

My sister Eileen (the good one) was calling from her home in Calif. to say that she had just been diagnosed with lung cancer and while she knew that it was a death sentence she had 2 sons aged 10 and 12 that she wanted to spend one more Christmas with.  Therefore, she had decided to undergo radiation and had also agreed to be a test candidate for an experimental drug called cytoxin, still used today to treat cancer thanks to people like my sister.

Needless to say, my mother was on the next plane to Cal.  Two months into that stay, my mother’s mother died unexpectedly back in Pa.  Yes, the same grandmother who blessed my infant son.  I was  happy I had made that trip back to see her one last time.

I volunteered to fly to Cal. so my mother could return home for the funeral.  So here I was, cooking meals, cleaning,  packing  the boy’s lunches, doing laundry, and taking  care of my baby.  I drove her to treatments, I cleaned up her vomit, I put cream on her radiation burns.  I invested in another person’s life as I had never done before.  We talked a lot, we laughed a lot and cried a little..

In one of our talks she told me that she knew she would be facing God soon and she had a request for him.  She thought that Joe and I needed a baby girl to go along with our new son.  I told her Paul’s adoption had to be legalized first before we could apply for another child and that would take some time.  She said, “oh, that’s not what I mean – I’ll let God know, in no uncertain terms, that you need to deliver a baby girl.  After all, how can God deny me?!” she said with her big grin.  She had such faith – she really believed that God would listen to her.  We had a good laugh and soon Mom returned to her and Paul and I went home to Indiana.

As expected, my sister died, 6 months after her diagnosis, but 2  months after that precious Christmas – She got her wish AND I became angrier than I had ever been in my life.  After all, she was the good one.  Why didn’t God take me?  What about her boys? How could God do this to our family?  My anger stayed with me, I couldn’t shake and it was all directed to God.  If I had ever had any faith  –  it was gone.

Five months after her death my parents visited us.  My father and I stayed up one night after all had gone to bed.  I asked him why he wasn’t angry like I was and he said his faith comforted him.  I knew that losing a child must be much worse and he said yes it was horrible but the Lord gives us much – just look at that little son of yours sleeping in the other room.  He missed my sister very much but knew he would be with her again.  Almost immediately,  the power of his gentle but strong faith seemed to wrap itself around me and heal my grief ……I finally had a sense of peace.

The following fall I started having abdominal pain. A visit to the doctor sent me to have tests and in a few days the doctor called me and he asked if I was sitting down.  I was sure that I had a tumor or some such horrible thing. It turned out I was pregnant and later delivered, you guessed it, a beautiful baby girl……and I had doubted my  sister’s faith!

We named her Eileen, the name of my sister who is her special angel in heaven.  She grew up to be such a good person.  She has taught biology in inner city high schools in Oakland, CA and Phila.  – neighborhoods that most of us would be afraid of entering.  She says children are the same everywhere with the same needs.

In 1999 she married a most wonderful man and after a few years they wanted a family. She didn’t have the problems that I had.  She almost immediately became pregnant but unfortunately had a miscarriage.  Another pregnancy brought heartache when at 5 months a hole was discovered in the baby’s cerebellum,  part of the brain.  That pregnancy ended tragically and this baby, Emily Rose and her short life are celebrated in the ringing of the E5 bell when our bell choir rings.  Eileen and Tom, her husband, even with their grief, donated Emily’s body to research so that more could be found about this very rare anomaly.   Genetic specialists indicated that a 1 in 4 chance of this happening was likely with every pregnancy.  Another pregnancy came, another loss.  At this point, Eileen told me that they had stopped praying.  God had let them down……God was not answering their prayers……..it hurt to believe----------BUT this time, MY faith was strong and I asked for prayers everywhere. People all over the land and across the ocean were praying……and for some reason, I call it faith, I just knew this time it would be different.  I knew that faith and prayers can work miracles.

Last month Madeleine Rose Day was born.  Joe and I have a healthy beautiful new granddaughter!

Some people may say that all of these events are coincidences.  I choose to believe in miracles!  So I can say that I have seen what the power of faith can do.  It enabled my sister to be at peace with her approaching death and have a sense of expectancy at being with our Lord.  My father’s faith was such that the acceptance of his daughter’s death was possible at the same time helping me to heal.  As for me and my faith, it’s still a growth process and I choose to be open to what the Lord offers.

There’s another aspect to this before I close.  My sister Eileen and I talked, when she was sick, about Jesus and she both being 33 years old  at their deaths and that knowledge seemed to comfort her.  So 33 has been a special number for me.  Would you believe that when Maddie Rose is baptized next month,   it will be 33 years to the month  after my sister talked with God……..I believe in miracles and I have faith!