January 29, 2006
Laity Sunday: Stephen DeVito
Good evening! Let me introduce myself. My name is Steve DeVito. I am 45 years old (soon to be 46) and have been a member of this church for about five years. In fact, this is the first church that I have ever been active in, not counting my formative years in the Catholic church until the age of 15 when I made my Confirmation. After that I became a “C & E” – mostly a “C”.
I come from an Italian-American family, slightly dysfunctional, but then what family isn’t to some degree? I have to honestly say that growing up I received many mixed messages – from my family, my friends, my community, my co-workers, and even my church. I was always sympathetic to the less fortunate among us but never really did anything significant to help them. Oh, maybe the occasional dollar-here, dollar-there when it was convenient, but not anything that I would call a sacrifice, commitment, or investment.
Also, I don’t have any children of my own so I pretty much have lived my life just worrying about me, my wife and cats.
I relate these things to you so I can put in context the story I am about to tell you…
A couple of months ago I was doing my normal technology thing at the 11:15 T.G.I. Sunday service. Towards the end of the service I happened to notice a gentleman in the third-to-last pew on my side near the aisle. I had not seen this person before. I don’t know why I noticed him – he was ordinary looking – wearing a denim jacket and jeans. His hair was a little messy but then mine is ALWAYS messy!
It just so happened that, at this service, Branches played a jazzed-up version of Amazing Grace. During this rendition, the guy in the denim jacket began pounding on the back of the pew in front of him as if spastically drumming along with the band. Each time his open palm hit the pew I could hear a thump. The ladies behind him looked at each other a bit warily but didn’t move or otherwise do anything or say anything to the guy. After Amazing Grace was finished, the Benediction was given and we all joined hands. I so happened to reach out and join my left hand with this gentleman. As we started reciting the Lord’s Prayer, the guy started swaying back and forth and was clenching my fist so tight that I though my wedding ring was going to cut through my finger. It was as this guy was being jolted with a thousand volts of electricity. Miraculously, he (and I ) kept our balances until the prayer was completed.
At that point, I resumed my position at the multi-media console for “Lord I Lift Your Name on High” which we always sing to close the service. Now, I was keeping an eye on this guy and he starting drumming on the pew in front of him again – although less violently. After the service, to my relief, there were no incidents as the congregation began filing out. I closed up my console and noticed that the guy remained, just sitting alone in the pew looking straight-ahead. I went out into the Narthex and quickly briefed Gordon on what I had just witnessed and that I was going to approach the man to see what was up. Gordon nodded as if to say “you’re on your own with this one Steve” and I gulped and headed back into the Sanctuary.
When I got to where the guy was sitting I reached out my hand and asked him if he had enjoyed the service. In a slightly slurred voice he said “Yes” and that he had been to our church before. I asked him his name and he responded “John”. He said it wasn’t his real name but that is what people called him. Then he said that he was looking for employment. This took me a bit by surprise and I responded that we should speak with Gordon to see what he suggested. We went out together to the Narthex and I introduced “John” to Gordon and explained that he was looking for employment and did he have any suggestions.
Well, to make a long story short…
John said that he didn’t like the people at Social Services and that he preferred not to deal with them. Then he explained that he had been shot a couple of times in the past and currently had an infection that needed treatment. Then he pulled some slips of paper from a tattered wallet that he carried and thrust them at me. Turned out that John had been to Bradley Hospital earlier in the morning and received several prescriptions for a variety of ailments including seizures and the infection. Since John was slurring the whole time he spoke I asked him if he was a drug or alcohol user and he emphatically said “No” and that he just needed his meds and wanted to find employment.
At that point, Gordon turned to me and said that I could take John to CVS to get his prescriptions filled and that we would find a way to cover the cost of them. I gulped again and said “OK, let me get my coat”, which I did, and then John and I proceeded down the front stairs towards the municipal parking lot where my truck was. As we were walking John asked me if I had ever been to Mars. I paused a second and then said “No!”. What else was I gong to say? John continued to explain that he had just gotten back from there. Well, the sarcastic Steve kicked in and I responded “Well, I guess there aren’t any jobs on Mars either.” I think John cracked a smile and we continued walking. Before I opened the passenger-side door I felt compelled to ask John if he had any knives or guns with which he could use to carjack or rob me. He again adamantly responded “No!”.
Let’s recap – so far I asked John if he was a drug/alcohol user, made a wisecrack to him about Mars, and asked him if he had any knives or guns. This is an indication of the kind of person I perceived him to be.
As we drove to CVS I started making small talk with “John” while fishing for information. Turns out John was a long-time Boston Red Sox fan. We talked about baseball for a few minutes and then about the skills John had that could help him find a job. John kept reiterating that he just wanted employment and didn’t want to stay in a shelter. He also said he had some friends/family in Bristol and was expecting some kind of check that he would pay us back with. The more we chatted the more comfortable I got with him and could see that he had some kind of short-term plan.
As we walked into CVS I could feel all eyes turn our way and I quickly led “John” to the back where the pharmacy is. When we got to the counter I explained to the assistant that I needed to know what the prescriptions cost before ordering them and how I came to be with “John”. Everyone there was very nice and helpful. They asked John some basic questions and began researching his prescriptions. At that point I asked him to sit down and wait for me to finish with the pharmacist. I sensed the fear and apprehension of the other customers as John squirmed and fidgeted in the chair. I was feeling uncomfortable too and was in an elevated state of awareness just in case he began making a scene. After a few minutes the pharmacist came back with the cost of his prescriptions, which was reasonable, so I gave her the go-ahead to fill them. They told us to come back in 20 minutes.
On the way out, I asked John if he was hungry and he said “No, I just would like my medication…and perhaps a new pair of pants and a shirt for my interviews.” He said it so matter-of-factly that I just said “OK”. I figured the best place to go on short notice was Wal-Mart (boo-hiss) so we headed up Route 10. Along the way John asked me some personal questions – Was I married? How old I was?. I learned that John was my age but looked about 15 years older. As we were walking across the parking lot towards the store, John changed his request to pants to a pair of shoes. I said we’d see and continued on into the store. Once we got to the shoe department, John knew exactly what he wanted. He grabbed a box off the shelf, tried the shoes on and said “Yep, these are good”. I said, “Wait a second, they look a little tight”. After some prodding he agreed and tried on a different style which he liked better and fit better.
As he was trying on the shoes and lacing them up, I started thinking that he could use more than just shoes, or even pants, especially since he had NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING with him. So, we got packages of socks, underwear, tee-shirts, and khaki pants (his choice) – all basic stuff. Like a parent getting their kid school clothes, I felt proud that he was making good choices – khakis instead of jeans, colors that matched, etc. While in the checkout line I felt the same fear and apprehension from the other customers that I sensed at CVS a few minutes earlier. John carried the bags out to the truck and as we were getting back in I asked him if he would like something to carry his stuff in, perhaps a duffel bag. He said “Yes” and we drove to my house, which was pretty-much on the way back to CVS.
When we got to my house I asked John if he would like to come in and use the bathroom and he just kept saying that he wanted to go back to CVS to get his medication. I quickly ran upstairs and pulled a duffel bag out of my closet that I wasn’t using and brought it back down. I pulled a couple of bottled waters out of the fridge and told John to stick them in the bag along with all his newly acquired stuff.
When we returned to CVS we both went back in. As I was checking out, the young man who was the pharmacist’s assistant said “I admire what you are doing.” I said “Thanks” but felt that there wasn’t anything else I could do – that my life over the past hour or so was not under my control. I shrugged off that thought and we headed back to the church so John could clean up and change clothes. I waited for him outside the Men’s bathroom across from the office. I knocked on the door a couple of times to make sure that he was OK, which he was. When John emerged he looked like a new man – hair combed, new clothes, new shoes and duffel bag in tow. I asked him again if he wanted lunch and he said “No Thanks”. I gave him some brochures with the church’s information on them and my name circled. I asked him to come back for the 6:00 service so we could talk to Gordon and figure what he should do on Monday. John agreed and we left the church. Before parting, I suggested again that he come to the 6:00 service. He nodded and headed North up Main Street. As he got further and further up the street he seemed to fade away. I turned, then looked back, and hoped that I would see him again at the 6:00 service.
As it would turn out, I wouldn’t see John again.
The rest of the day had a surreal feeling to it. I felt like I had done something good but also wanted to do more. I wanted to tell people what had happened. As I reflected on the encounter with “John” I started thinking – “Why me?” Normally, I would have just left church after the 11:15 service to go home and watch football on the couch (my wife can vouch for that). Instead, for some reason, I saw this man and was compelled to walk with him on his journey – even if it was for a short time. I was hoping that maybe I showed him enough kindness and compassion to keep him going for another day, or week, or month until he could find a job and start to get his life together again. Other thoughts flooded through me: Was this man Jesus who came in disguise? If so, why was I the only one who saw him? Why wasn’t I scared to be with him or be seen with him? Why did I feel responsible for him? Why did I want him to come back?
After having time to reflect on this experience – Why it happened to me and played out the way it did – I can honestly say is due to my involvement with this church – the teachings of these ministers and the role models we have in this congregation, including my wife who is a Deacon and Stephen Minister. It all came together for me on that day and continues to become clearer and clearer each week. The sermons, the missions, the music, the scripture, the people all have played a role in my faith journey. Amen.