July 9, 2006
Rev Linda Fernandes-Bailey
Called By God
You know how when you read a good book and then they make it into a movie most of the time you never like the movie as much as the book? For me part of that is because in a movie you don’t always get a good idea of what the characters are thinking or feeling.
So sometimes when I read scripture I feel like it reads like a movie. We have this grand encounter between God and Ezekiel. Today we heard a small part of it but it actually covers three chapters of vivid description of what Ezekial heard and saw. It’s amazing and some of it pretty weird…he sees strange winged creatures, he’s asked to eat the scroll, the spirit enters him and makes him stand up and them transports him to different places. But not once do we know what Ezekiel was thinking or feeling. I mean did he go to his friends and family and say “I had this really weird encounter with God…tell me what you think.” Did he say “It seemed so clear at the time but now that I’ve slept on it I feel like I made the whole thing up!” I mean don’t you wish scripture included stuff like that? I know I do. Because scripture sometimes makes it seem like hearing the voice of God is so easy! It makes it seem like figuring out God’s plan for our life is simple stuff. It frustrates me because that’s never been my experience! Is it yours? I mean it can take years for a call to unfold in your life…years to figure out how to hear God’s voice…years to respond!
Such was the conversation in my home several years ago while I was discerning my call to ministry. As I struggled with my seminary classes I kept wondering “Did I really hear God’s voice or did I make this whole thing up?” So one day, (and some of you may have heard this story before) while driving to school a voice comes from my cell phone…out loud from the walkie/talkie feature saying “Linda, this is God….This is your call!” (of course it wasn’t God it was my husband fooling around) If only God’s voice were that clear!
Even Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk who had a profound conversion experience and dedicated his life to God, writes:
O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think
I am following your will
Does not actually mean I am actually doing so.
But I believe
That the desire to please you does in fact please you,
And all that I am doing
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire to please you.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me on the right road.
Though I may know nothing about it
Therefore I trust you always
Though I may seem to be lost
And in the shadow of death
I will not fear,
For you are ever with me,
And you will never leave me
to make my journey alone.
Many people ask me, “How do I know that it’s God working in my life?” And “How do I know that what I am doing with my life is what God has called me to do?” These are great questions and I think the answers are a little different for everyone. Living out our call means recognizing our gifts and using them to build up God’s kingdom. It means living out our divine purpose in life. To find out what our call might be (and we may have several over the course of our life) we need to listen for God’s voice. That’s what most of us find so hard especially in this very noisy world. Noise and busy-ness block the hearing of God’s voice. Hearing God’s voice has a lot to do with having a relationship with God. Knowing God well enough so that we learn how God speaks to each of us. It has a lot to do with spending time listening and paying very close attention to your life. It means exploring what the purpose and meaning of our life is. And it means being willing to hear and respond to what we hear God calling us to. Having a call from God can mean doing something from right where you are or it can mean changing your life completely.
For me, listening to God comes down to three things: prayer, silence and confirmation from others…be it friends, pastor or spiritual director. I think prayer is important because prayer is how we get to know God and begin to understand how God works in our lives. In prayer there is also an element of surrender…or turning our lives into God’s hands and trusting that God will do something with them! I say this realizing that prayer is difficult for many of us. It’s hard to tell if anything at all is happening. But I believe that when we are consistence and persistent prayer helps us to pay attention to where God is calling us and where God is working in our lives. Silence of course is important because how can we hear God if we never listen! Silence is probably our biggest challenge. It means emptying your mind of all your racing thoughts and making a space for God’s voice. Finally, it is also helpful to talk with others because it can confirm what we believe we have heard…it helps us to sort things out and discern God’s will. Saying it our loud begins to make it real.
Now actually hearing God is different I think for everyone. Some may have dreams in which God’s call becomes clear to us, for others it may be through something other people notice about us, it can be a series of what might appear to be coincidences but can be interpreted as “God incidences” and it can be a vision. Some people have heard God in very subtle ways while others get a burning bush. The key is to trust your own unique experience of God.
However you hear God at some point you need to surrender and take action. In my case discerning my call to ministry I spent at least a semester wildly uncertain always struggling and questioning then finally I got to the point when I surrendered. I made a decision to trust God no matter how uncomfortable I was and to trust that God would uphold me and lead me down the right path. And low and behold…after much kicking and screaming here I am!
I think one thing we learn from Ezekiel’s call is that often the things God calls us to do are not easy. We will not always be popular. People will not always agree with us. In God’s presence Ezekiel falls on his face but God says “Stand up!” Stand up and listen…I am sending you to the people of Israel a rebellious people…Tell them it is I that speaks through you…they have transgressed against me. Ezekiel is called to tell them what their unfaithfulness will cost them…(so you can imagine how popular he will be) Tell them even if they refuse to hear…says God…Do not be afraid of their words or their looks and even when it feels thorny and like you’re surrounded by scorpions…do not be afraid…just do what I am telling you. The spirit filled Ezekiel he was given the strength, the words, all that he needed because he heard and answered God’s call.
We too are called to give voice to causes when we feel we don’t have a voice…we are called to do things we don’t think we are capable of. Often when we are called it interrupts our comfortable world that we are so used to. Yet amidst our feelings of inadequacy God calls each of us graciously giving us gifts and talents needed and the strength and courage to follow through. What is required of us is trust…trust that God has spoken…we are called and God will carry us through. AMEN.